If your relationship is on the rocks because it’s lacking trust, then you might be looking for ways to build trust in your relationship and save the relationship before it’s too late.
Thankfully, there are steps you can follow to help improve the level of trust that’s missing or tarnished in your relationship and save your relationship now:
1. Be Trustworthy and Predictable
They say that being spontaneous is the way to keep a relationship alive. But if it’s trust you’re looking to build, then you need to be just the opposite. Be as consistent as you can be to show your partner that you can be trusted and depended upon to behave like “you” all the time, no matter what. Don’t give them a reason to doubt or worry about the way you might behave or how you might react to something.
This doesn’t mean not taking your partner out for a night out on a whim or cooking them a spontaneous dinner after their long day. It only means maintaining a steady core mode of behavior so that they know they can count on you.
2. Be Honest and Truthful
If you want to build trust in your relationship, then you’re going to have to prove to your partner that you can be trusted. That means always being true to your word and never lying to them again.
Your body language should align with what you’re saying and what you’re saying must align with how you act. Don’t doubt that your partner can see through a lie and even if they can’t, don’t doubt that it won’t come back to hurt the relationship at some point down the line. Honesty is the foundation of a trusting and long-lasting relationship.
3. Believe in Your Partner
Try to think back to when you first fell in love. Remember all the things about your partner that you adored, admired and respected. Remember why you fell in love with them. Try to focus on the things that you love about your partner and get back to that place where you believed in them and supported their convictions and their aspirations.
Then work on communicating to them how much you believe in them. This is one of the most powerful and effective ways you can build trust. Show your partner that you “get” them and that you love and stand by who they are.
4. Avoid Keeping Any Secrets
This is the uglier cousin of the honesty step. It’s one thing not to tell lies. It’s another to keep things hidden. Both are damaging, but keeping secrets might be even more toxic. Building trust in your relationship means not keeping anything hidden. To win trust, you have to earn it. And to earn trust in a relationship means giving that same trust right back to your partner.
Don’t waste the energy and pain it costs to keep secrets but instead focus your energy on building back the trust in your relationship. Be honest and open about yourself and give your partner the respect they deserve by giving them a chance to respect who you are and whatever it is you need to tell them. Secrets almost always come back to hurt someone in the end. If the relationship is truly worth fighting for, then coming out with secrets may shake it, but it will not break it.
Share Your Needs with One Another
A relationship is about giving. To work on building the trust, discuss with your partner exactly what you think might be lacking in the relationship and also what is positive between you. Tell them what it is about them that helps you thrive and what it is you think could make you even stronger.
Then give your partner the trust in you to be able to voice their needs as well. Listen closely and carefully and don’t let yourself get defensive. You can learn a lot about how to save your relationship by simply listening to what your partner has to say and trying to see things through their lens. Do not be selfish. Just be compassionate.
6. Do Not Be Afraid to Say No
Relationships mean compromise. But they do not mean one-way sacrifice. If you feel your partner demands things of you that are unreasonable or that you feel require you to change the very person that you are, then you have to have the courage to say no.
If the relationship is worth saving, then both of your individual personalities should be allowed to shine. Changing who you are is not what a healthy relationship is about. To truly build trust, you need to foster a relationship that lets you both stand up for yourselves. Instead of submitting, find a way to compromise.
7. Embrace Pain as a Part of Growth
Relationships are complicated and complex to say the least. And when there is conflict or the relationship feels like it’s coming to an end, it can be difficult and painful to try to save it. Building back trust in a relationship is hard work.
You and your partner need to lean on each other as you go through the process of saving the relationship. Like any process of growth, pain is simply a natural step towards change. Once you accept this fact, you can both look forward to a stronger and healthier relationship on the other side.