The Beginners Guide To (What You Need To Know To Get Started)

Buying the Quality Adult Toys

Numerous women would fear accepting their feminist by the application of the adult toys. This might be as a result of the norms and divine beliefs ion the society. The application of the adult toys among the women ha improved in the recent century. There are numerous women who apply the adult toys for individual excitement. This market elaborates that there are numerous types of the adult toys present in the business currently. The query is how to choose the actual one. This company elaborates the use of the adult toys and how to decide the correct one.

The women might not derive the optimal pleasure from the organ contact like what they watch from the videos. This explains how numerous women will reach orgasm through the clitoral. Getting to the highest pleasure level will not take place through the vagina. The couples would use these adult toys to reach their optimal levels of pleasure. There are various adult toys sold in the market presently. It depends on your choice, there might be women who want to get pleasure as they walk around or simply without their outer wear on. In the begging, choose from the available varieties.

The adult toys comes in a variety of material. This would be silicone, plastic or the metallic. More so, there are numerous shapes provided in the industry. A woman might prefer to go for the smooth and more natural shaped ones. A number of the adult toys are water proof. It will be determined by the location you would like to gain the excitement from. This might be from the bath tub whereby the water poof is the best from the home page. This page notes that the size of the toy is not crucial. It might be simple to get the power used in running the adult toy directly from the socket or through the batteries. The excitement will be determined by the flow when operating the toy.

Further, ensure that the adult toy is not toxic. This will guarantee that you asses the security of applying the tool and how easy it is when cleaning. The first step of buying the correct adult toy is shopping for numerous testers before making the decision on the most appropriate one. It demands you to choose one that will favor your desires. One can read more from the site and asses the size and make that will favors your demands. It might happen that the first section fails to satisfy your desires. It is likely that a number of married individuals might not be aware of the adult toy that would favors their demands more. This site elaborates the essence of reaching the highest excitement level by taking the quality adult toy. Thus, choose the best sellers.

Overwhelmed by the Complexity of ? This May Help

What You Need To Know on How to Help a Man With Erectile Dysfunction

As you may get into a new relationship and start exploring the sex life, it can be challenging. With getting to the new sex life, the challenging part is getting to know that your partner has erectile dysfunction. Since such problem can be so much disappointing, various tips can be helpful in making things are in the right way. As a lady, you can try to spice your sex life by trying some new things in the bedroom, and you can later find out that your man responded to them. You might find out that there was nothing wrong with what you were doing before but trying new ways can be an exciting sexual experience. In trying new things, you can both decide to watch a video or try experimenting with some new toys that you are all interested in.

Even though this might not be a cure to erectile dysfunction, trying new things can even be a solution. Suggesting natural resources can be another tip useful in getting rid of the disorder. With these types of disorder, various factors come into it, and that is from the way the blood vessels are performing well to the direction in which the oxygen intake is taking place in the body of the man. There is need for a man always to have enough sleep when he really needs to stop struggling with erectile dysfunction simply because at the time when they need to have sex, the man will be less tired. In some cases, the herbal teas or the spices can play a significant role in getting the blood to flow well down there and therefore bringing about a solution to such problems. Get to talk one on one with your man and get his views just because he might have the best idea of fixing that problem that he has.

Since communication can bring things to a better understanding, it is essential to discuss with your man about the way forward of making things work well, and a solution might be found. When you are having the discussion with your partner, it is essential that you ensure he does not feel pressured or judged or pressured in any way since the primary objective of the communication is solving the issues and not making it worse than before. With you are having an open and frank conversation with your partner, your s life will get to a place you wanted it to. Considering such ideas as a man with the disorder, it will be so much helpful.

6 Facts About Everyone Thinks Are True

Benefits of Faith and its Vital Role in the Society

Faith entails having a resilient trust in religion and other spiritual convictions. It is worth noting that faith has lost its meaning in the society due to increased cases of secularism. Even if this is how many people are feeling now, you should take note that faith plays a central role in the lives of people and in the society. The following is a list of importance of faith and its role in our society.

The first importance of faith is enhanced positivity in people as well improving their expectation about positive outcomes. There are times when you feel like the world and everything in is against you. This is an obvious thing if you do not have a positive mindset. Such a feeling makes one focus only on bad life events, ignoring any chances of some positive happenings. What follows is a chain of poor life choices and a general state of hopelessness. At this state, many people can be described as walking dead as they are blinded by negative thoughts although. All is not lost as faith has the power to bring around a turn of events until you become a positive agent in the society. Just a little faith and positive thoughts will help you to have a great impact in your society. It is important to learn more about this topic by keeping in touch with our daily posts.

The second importance of faith is that it serves as a source of resilience as well as strength. You should be aware that bad things will still happen to you despite that kind of mindset which you have. During this moment, what matters most is the way in which we handle these situations. Having a strong will aid you to withstand these storms as well as remain strong when the situation gets tougher. Thinking positively is likely to make us have strength and endurance to wade through the situation through faith. You must click here for examples of some people who have made it through faith.

Another benefit of faith is that it helps us to develop a purpose in life. Losing your purpose in life is the worst thing that you can allow befall you. This is a point in life where you give up and stop believing in greater potentials in you. A purposeless life may make us wonder from this sensation to another trying to find things that can make us happy. You will be able to rediscover yourself through faith and guidance if you read this site.

More information: sites

Valuable Lessons I’ve Learned About

Understanding More about Wedding Photography
It is good to make sure that you properly plan for your wedding occasion, and professional photography services is one of the key things that should actually be included in the plan. For those who may be aspiring to have the ringling wedding photos, then choosing professional wedding photographers in sarasota fl has become much easier than before due to their high numbers compared to before. Here is a detailed part of the discussion on some of the top reasons why it is important for those intending to have their wedding occasions in Sarasota to consider having the ringling wedding photos from the photography experts in the places.
One of the key reason why it is very important to consider hiring professional photography services for your wedding occasion is to have long lasting memories about the entire occasion, and in this case, the sarasota wedding photographers have expertise and competency to take quality and amazing photos for their clients’ occasions. The Sarasota wedding photographer will definitely meet all your individual needs and expectations, thus leaving you maximally satisfied and happy. There are several things that contribute to the quality of the ringling wedding photos you will end up getting and the types of the photography equipment like cameras is one of the key factors, hence the reason why choosing these photographers is very essential. A professional Sarasota wedding photographer has all know knowledge of the best styles of photos that you should have.
Not all the photography experts you come around can, however, meet your needs and expectations, hence the need to make sure that you have the recommended tips for choosing the best for your needs, Here are some of the top things that you definitely need to take into account when choosing wedding photographers in sarasota fl to help you find the most professional services for your needs. It is good to make sure that the photographer you decide to hire has been in the field for at least one year and has all the skills, camera knowledge and expertise to give you the most stylish photos that will give you long lasting memories about your event. It is also good to make sure that you try and do some research first in order to find a photography expert for your wedding occasion. Make sure that you have a fitting budget to cater for the prices charged for the services.

The Key For Creating More Efficient & Effective Relationships

Relationships are very delicate and may require extra effort on the part of the players to maintain. However, everyone actually longs for relationships that can provide added security and comfort when they need. Building efficient, effective and lasting relationships is a huge necessity. This is mainly due to the fact that people do not work well when they are solitary. We humans are social animals and we need to be in a community in order to function properly. For example, in a company or organization, the well being of the organization as well as the staff will depend on the coordination and interrelationship of the staff along with the management.

It can often get very frustrating for a very social person, when a group that the person is in is not functioning properly and is on the verge of a breakdown. Whenever these kinds of situations arise the efficiency of the group falls radically and can create havoc in the system and ultimately leading to a catastrophic failure of the organization. Our society is based on a web of relationships, but every contributing party must act efficiently and effectively towards the betterment of society. Having a relationship that is really is always good; this creates a growth in the feelings of cooperation and mutual respect.

In order to maintain a good relationship both parties need to put in effort towards understanding the other parties’ feelings and situation, this is the foundation stone of any strongly built relationship which can last a lifetime. Making the simple choices will allow the corresponding party in a relationship to understand that how important they are to you.

Openly expressing your feelings regarding any matter concerning to the relationship is another plus, as this will allow the other party to understand that you are willing to make a commitment towards the betterment of the relationship. And this will also allow you to make conscious decisions based on the fact that how the other party is reacting to your decision to discuss everything openly.

Mutual respect is the key to any good relationship and should be maintained at all costs. It is not only enough to just create a relationship and maintain it but it is equally important to him the respect of the other parties and also to give them their due respect they deserve. Showing respect does not mean that you have to bow to every decision that the other party makes but rather it should be about understanding your parties’ situation and acknowledging it in a very personalized manner. Always make sure that you never make quick judgments based on unproven facts or pre-existing prejudice.

Another key to a successful relationship is to tackle the differences of the other concerned party directly. For example, definite times can be allowed to each party so that they can express their feelings respectfully.

Let’s make it a win-win situation

This strategy can be opted when at least one party succeeds in acknowledging the fact that the relationship is important to them. Only after this realization the concerned party will put in much more effort, tying, and money and even thought into the fact that the relationship can be made better. There should be no pre-judgment by any party and the situation should be allowed to mature on its own.

An active decisions making should be a part of the relationship and issues and concerns should be discussed openly and thoughtfully. Both parties should be aware of the situation and must tackle the situation in understanding manner. An environment should be available by both parties can express their feelings and regrets as and when they see necessary without harming the effective dynamics of the relationship. The failure to express feelings can quite easily hinder the progress off an efficient and effective relationship and can even lead to an ultimate disintegration of the relationship pattern.

It is not all about individual relationships but for corporate as well as individual relationships the above rules do apply and one must always take care not to offend or harm the other party and still expect the other party to continue on with the relationship. It is highly unlikely that once they realize that you are not worthy of their attention and effort they will actively sever the relationship.

Just like in a close relationship every relationship must go through a period of hardships and even disagreements, but for every disagreement if there was breakdown in the relationship no marriage today will stay on for long. We would have seen much more devotions than actually marriages. This actually means that relationships are not very fragile and are often very tolerant errant behavior and will accept certain amount of liberty taken with the relationship.

Relationships are important to almost everyone, and addressing issues and concerns just when they occur is a must in order to maintain and even improve the relationship.

Relationships – An Astrological Look at Possibilities

When a client comes in for an astrology reading for what is current in their lives, one or more of three primary categories motivate them: health, money/career, and relationships. Oh there are lots more reasons for a reading, but those are the three biggies and accounted for probably 95% of the thousands of readings I did over my years as a professional astrologer. Now that I am retired, researching and writing, I get to examine the assumption in more detail and the concept holds true. In this article we will deal with relationships as we explore some of the various charts and techniques that are available to astrologers.

Before you can understand any person in a relationship, you must get a feel for that person as an individual. What does that person bring to any relationship (giving)? What are they looking for from the relationship (taking)? How will they participate in a relationship? The easiest way to determine these preliminary factors in relating is to lay out the two charts for the individuals side by side to try to get a quick fix on the individuals involved and their key issues. Once you have created a picture in your mind of these individual qualities then you begin to draw comparisons between the individuals by comparing their chart positions. Compare Sun to Sun and every other planet or point in your arsenal, Moon to Moon and every other planet or point, etc. This chart technique is not about the individuals as individuals, it is about the relationship between the individuals and how one affects (or infects) the other. This is called synastry and gives the nitty-gritty detail of a relationship.

Most of our computer programs do this automatically and you can print out a grid which details those connections for your reading convenience. For much of my astrological life, such conveniences were not available and I learned to do it by hand, tedious, but instructive. As any good cook making a pie crust will tell you, using the hands makes a more satisfying crust. True, just ask. I do this step twice, not because I am detail crazy, but because they produce two different results, both of which are useful to me. Construct this synastry chart as a double wheel, with person one on the inside and person two on the outside. Then, reverse the positions, person two on the inside and person one on the outside. This is the same information, but the layout and use is different.

How do you read these charts? The person in the center of the chart is primary, the person on the outside is secondary to that inside person. The person on the outside benefits, affects or infects the person on the inside. The person on the inside is a stand-alone about the person as an individual. The person on the outside brings something new to the table which may be a positive, a negative or absolute confusion. Read that chart thoroughly, being sure to keep the primary (I) and secondary (you) in correct relationship (there’s that word again.) Now put that chart aside and look at the reversed position chart. Same rules but now the story is about the other person. The number 2 person becomes “I” and the number 1 person becomes “you.” Read that thoroughly being sure to keep the primary and secondary in correct relationship. You have just generated a ton of information which can keep the two people busy for decades! But relationship reading does not stop there.

When a relationship occurs, a new entity called “the relationship” comes into being, i.e., Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith as a couple. We are never truly quite the same with any other person we encounter. My relationship with each of my four children is unique and has a shape and texture of its own. Each pairing is a unique entity that must be read individually. These charts pertain only to the unique relationship. It must not be read as belonging to either individual involved because that is a false application. This is tricky to remember when you’re reading charts created for relationships. Birth charts are for the individual. Synastry charts are how individuals affect each other. Relationships charts are about the unique relationship itself, not the individuals. Of course, this can also be done two ways.

For the longest time composite charts were the name of the relationship chart game; it was the only mathematically viable choice. The basic premise of a composite chart is: what happens if two people in a relationship meet each other halfway on all issues (a pipe dream). The composite chart does that. It is a construct and not a real-time chart. It filled the bill quite nicely for generations of astrologers. All you had to do was be willing to ignore that it was not a real time chart and participants in a relationship rarely met each other half way on all issues!

Mathematically it was quite easy to add the two midheavens together, divide that sum in half to create a new position halfway between the two midheavens. Do the same procedure for the two ascendants. Planet-wise, same procedure: add the two Suns together, divide that sum in half to create a new position half way between the two Suns. You would then do the same with two Moons, two Mercurys, etc. You lay out the wheel according to the MC/Asc and their intermediary cusps from a table of houses, drop the new planet positions in where they belonged naturally, and then read the chart as a unique relationship entity. This process is so much easier with the advent of computers. Just push a button and out pops a unique relationship!

Many astrologers forgot it wasn’t a real chart and relied on it as the total expression of the relationship itself. You would then read the chart as a relationship and carefully correct your clients when they attempted to turn it to a personal statement about their chart and life. That just doesn’t work. It must be read as a unique relationship.

An accurate, real-time, trustworthy chart did exist, it was just such a bear to construct, that few astologers would attempt it. You had to find the midpoint in actual time and space between the two birth times, the time standards in effect, dates (365 ¼ days per year, that ¼ could bite you), longitudes and latitudes. When you got all done doing the math, it was a calculated guess because there was no way to proof it without doing it all over again. I was one who would attempt it, but it would take me hours of effort and was very frustrating. I taught it, my students looked at me like I was nuts and rarely tried it. With the advent of computers, accurate relationship charts could be spit out instantly. Eureka!

Sometimes we can be quite lazy. Why throw out what has been working so beautifully over the years to learn a new trick? Composites are still the most popular form of relationship charts. We now have one real chart and one not-so-real chart. The not-so-real has filled the bill for generations. The real chart has little to no history to study, but it is gaining in usage. Do you throw the baby out with the bathwater? I pondered on this for a while and my conclusion was that both charts had value, they simply showed different aspects of a relationship. The composite chart showed the potential of a relationship… what could occur if you met the other person halfway on all issues (not most people’s reality), that which lures us into a relationship because we can see the potential. The calculated relationship chart shows the actuality of the relationship, how it really works out in real life in real relationships.

My version of a famous saying is “What you sees is what you gets.” Again, this is not my personal experience. Sometimes we get what we see, more often we don’t. So how do we determine this in a relationship? The closer the two charts (composite and relationship) resemble each other, the better the chance that you are going to get (real time) what the potential (artificial time) shows you. The more distant or different those charts are, “what you gets is not what you sees!” I’ve read these charts this way for over 30 years. It works for me. The rest is for astrologers who are not faint of heart.

One other point… If you and I live together, we will be simultaneously stimulated by events, perhaps somewhat different in effect, but occurring at the same time. Therefore, there must be common degree points, with very little orb, to be triggered simultaneously. Orbs need to be tight, 5Ës or less, closer is better, exact (less than 1Ës) is what I’m always seeking. Tight orbs! I have had the good fortune as a researcher and bad fortune as a participant to have charts of entire families and have been able to watch these simultaneous activations. They do work, particularly with major events. Build yourself a family of charts and research important dates for activations.

7 Steps For How to Build Trust in a Relationship and Help Save a Relationship Before It’s Too Late

If your relationship is on the rocks because it’s lacking trust, then you might be looking for ways to build trust in your relationship and save the relationship before it’s too late.

Thankfully, there are steps you can follow to help improve the level of trust that’s missing or tarnished in your relationship and save your relationship now:

1. Be Trustworthy and Predictable

They say that being spontaneous is the way to keep a relationship alive. But if it’s trust you’re looking to build, then you need to be just the opposite. Be as consistent as you can be to show your partner that you can be trusted and depended upon to behave like “you” all the time, no matter what. Don’t give them a reason to doubt or worry about the way you might behave or how you might react to something.

This doesn’t mean not taking your partner out for a night out on a whim or cooking them a spontaneous dinner after their long day. It only means maintaining a steady core mode of behavior so that they know they can count on you.

2. Be Honest and Truthful

If you want to build trust in your relationship, then you’re going to have to prove to your partner that you can be trusted. That means always being true to your word and never lying to them again.

Your body language should align with what you’re saying and what you’re saying must align with how you act. Don’t doubt that your partner can see through a lie and even if they can’t, don’t doubt that it won’t come back to hurt the relationship at some point down the line. Honesty is the foundation of a trusting and long-lasting relationship.

3. Believe in Your Partner

Try to think back to when you first fell in love. Remember all the things about your partner that you adored, admired and respected. Remember why you fell in love with them. Try to focus on the things that you love about your partner and get back to that place where you believed in them and supported their convictions and their aspirations.

Then work on communicating to them how much you believe in them. This is one of the most powerful and effective ways you can build trust. Show your partner that you “get” them and that you love and stand by who they are.

4. Avoid Keeping Any Secrets

This is the uglier cousin of the honesty step. It’s one thing not to tell lies. It’s another to keep things hidden. Both are damaging, but keeping secrets might be even more toxic. Building trust in your relationship means not keeping anything hidden. To win trust, you have to earn it. And to earn trust in a relationship means giving that same trust right back to your partner.

Don’t waste the energy and pain it costs to keep secrets but instead focus your energy on building back the trust in your relationship. Be honest and open about yourself and give your partner the respect they deserve by giving them a chance to respect who you are and whatever it is you need to tell them. Secrets almost always come back to hurt someone in the end. If the relationship is truly worth fighting for, then coming out with secrets may shake it, but it will not break it.

Share Your Needs with One Another

A relationship is about giving. To work on building the trust, discuss with your partner exactly what you think might be lacking in the relationship and also what is positive between you. Tell them what it is about them that helps you thrive and what it is you think could make you even stronger.

Then give your partner the trust in you to be able to voice their needs as well. Listen closely and carefully and don’t let yourself get defensive. You can learn a lot about how to save your relationship by simply listening to what your partner has to say and trying to see things through their lens. Do not be selfish. Just be compassionate.

6. Do Not Be Afraid to Say No

Relationships mean compromise. But they do not mean one-way sacrifice. If you feel your partner demands things of you that are unreasonable or that you feel require you to change the very person that you are, then you have to have the courage to say no.

If the relationship is worth saving, then both of your individual personalities should be allowed to shine. Changing who you are is not what a healthy relationship is about. To truly build trust, you need to foster a relationship that lets you both stand up for yourselves. Instead of submitting, find a way to compromise.

7. Embrace Pain as a Part of Growth

Relationships are complicated and complex to say the least. And when there is conflict or the relationship feels like it’s coming to an end, it can be difficult and painful to try to save it. Building back trust in a relationship is hard work.

You and your partner need to lean on each other as you go through the process of saving the relationship. Like any process of growth, pain is simply a natural step towards change. Once you accept this fact, you can both look forward to a stronger and healthier relationship on the other side.

7 Ways to Have a Meaningful Relationship

In recent years there has been much debate about whether a person should date before marriage or just court the person they intend to marry.

According to Webster’s Dictionary, dating can be defined as an engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest. Courtship alternatively can be defined as a man’s courting of a woman; seeking the affections of a woman (usually in the hope of marriage) – Webster Dictionary. Or in more simple terms dating is perceived as a fun social outing, which could lead to marriage and courtship is perceived as a social outing where both parties have an intention of marriage in their minds from the outset.

Campaigners for both camps lay down strong arguments as to the virtues of their particular viewpoint. Sometimes to the extent that some singles are confused as to what to do if they desire to enter into a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Would I be perceived as being non-spiritual if I date someone? What if I enter into courtship and it doesn’t work out because I don’t know them? What is wrong if I date someone just to get to know them first before I commit to marriage? Is courtship similar to an arranged marriage, as both parties do not necessarily know each other before the nuptials? These are some of the questions asked.

In this article I am not going to justify the position or indeed analyse the pros and cons of either lobby but instead I want to suggest another dimension to having a meaningful relationship by going above the arguments and by saying that singles should relate with a godly purpose.

Everything God does has a purpose; a specific end result He had in mind. E.g. He gave Adam Eve in order to complete him. Dr Myles Munroe has said, “Where there is no purpose abuse is inevitable.” The argument therefore follows; if a single does not understand why they want to have a godly relationship or indeed understand what a relationship means, abuse will surely transpire. This could lead to pain, disillusionment, discouragement, bitterness and hurt. Relationships do not have to lead to these negative outcomes. They can be positive if we relate to one another with a godly purpose. In other words, we should approach relationships with the mind of Christ.

Following are seven ways to have a meaningful relationship.

1. UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF RELATIONSHIP

Many single Christians are entering into relationships, which in reality they should never have begun because they were unaware of what having a Godly relationship involves.

The Bible says: And the Lord give thee understanding in all things. 2 Timothy 2:7b. A solid foundation can only come when a true understanding of the meaning of relationship forms its basis. With such an understanding, a relationship not only becomes more meaningful it is also more likely to last because it is built on Godly wisdom, principles and understanding.

2. DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP

Before embarking on any relationship, ask yourself some questions. For example, why do I want to enter into this relationship? Where will it lead? Is God involved in my decision-making? Did I hear from God or is my flesh speaking/motivating me?

Defining the relationship helps you to determine your own personal expectations and will help you to shape those of the person you wish to relate to. Once you know what you want it is best to communicate that to the person you wish to relate with in order to avoid unwarranted conflict later.

3. PRAY THE RELATIONSHIP THROUGH

It is so important when you have to make minor and major decisions in life that you approach them with the mind of Christ. The Word of God commands us not to lean on our own understanding but to acknowledge God in all our ways, so that He can make our path straight. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

When we pray we are having an intimate relationship with God. It is in the communion with Him that you are able to know His mind (the Word of God) on matters pertaining to your life. Through prayer you will, in your connection to God, be able to choose appropriately, speak correctly and conduct yourself in a godly manner. Intimacy with God in prayer will also help to guide you through the complexity of relationships and enable you to relate to another person in a stress free manner.

4. KNOW THYSELF

A relationship cannot be wholesome if one of the parties in the relationship does not see themselves as separate, unique and whole. Where this does not occur in a relationship, one of the parties will start to feel drained by the other as they are relating to a Very Draining Person or a Very Needing Person. To avoid being the person that weighs down the person with whom you want to have a meaningful relationship with, you need to know yourself – your strengths and weakness. Simply, you need to know what makes you ‘tick’. It is in the understanding of who you are as a child of God and as a human being that you can relate more effectively with another person.

5. GET TO KNOW THE PERSON WELL

Sometimes when couples relate, they interact on a superficial basis in an attempt to present a positive side of themselves. The fear of being open and vulnerable to another person causes some to play a charade of surface level relationship right up to the time of commitment to marriage.

Once the couple cross over into marriage, their eyes ‘open’ and the rose tinted glasses are removed. They have to spend time and make an extra effort to work through issues which could have been dealt with prior to marriage. Couples looking to have a meaningful relationship should not major on the minors but focus on the fundamentals which will form the basis of their marriage e.g. spiritual life, family relationships, approach to money, child rearing, each others’ vision, etc. Success will come when you know and understand each other.

6. COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE

Talking and listening are key tools for anyone desiring to have a meaningful relationship. If you are able to talk freely to another person, who is not going to negatively use what you share with them, it is a good indication that you will have a meaningful relationship with them.

When you talk you are able to share your heart. The person with whom you are talking to, through the things you say, your thought processes, tone of voice etc. is able, if they listen with the ear of the Spirit, to ‘know’ the person you really are. Listening therefore is as important as talking. If talking is the main focus and not listening as well, the relationship is in danger of being shallow. Listening allows you to get to hear what is really in the mind of another person. When both are done in tandem, a couple stand a better chance of their relationship surviving the storms of life.

7. BE DETERMINED NOT TO COMPROMISE

Sin brought about the schism in the relationship between Adam and Eve. Prior to the fruit incident, Adam related freely with Eve. They were naked and not ashamed. However, once the fruit had been eaten their relationship changed with each other and with God. The blame game began and they started to play hide and seek with God. Relationships today are still undergoing the same experience once they move from relating God’s way to introducing sin into their relationship e.g. sleeping together, heavy petting etc. thereby compromising their position in Christ.

Once a couple determines not to compromise on their relationship despite temptations, societal pressures and personal emotions, they will triumph through Christ in every area of their relationship.

Finally, whilst all of the above are important, God must be the central focus for any couple desiring a meaningful relationship. God centred relationships can never fail. When a couple focus on God as the binding force in their relationship, they will have a confidence that their relationship cannot be broken. God will bring about a meaningful relationship because all issues of life can be found in His Word. Solutions can be obtained, healing and deliverance can also be achieved.

Introduction to an 8-Article Series on Understanding Relationship Stress

Humans are social animals – we love to work together, play together, live together, and love together. No one teaches us how to build a rich relationship with a partner – we all struggle to work out the secret to keeping and growing a nourishing, loving, long-lasting romantic relationship. But what if our partnership causes us unbearable relationship stress and tempts us to end the relationship? Do we know when this is happening? Do we know why? Do we know how the outcome will reveal itself? Most of building, maintaining, and ending relationships is trial and error learning. I am going to give an outline of my next seven articles on relationships, relationship stress, and building or terminating a relationship.

Odd word relationship isn’t it? A few definitions might help us untangle this most important part of human social life. A relationship, in this article we will talk about a romantic relationship (usually involving a sexual relationship), is a form of connectedness between two people. Note when I say two people I am steering clear of ménage a trois, open marriages, swinger groups etc and more complex three or more person relationships. The ‘typical’ relationship suggests attraction, selection, mutuality, closeness, intimacy, sharing, enhanced communication, some implicit understandings and rules, fidelity, loyalty, a commitment, a prospective expectation, that is, a formal or informal agreement or understanding that the relationship will continue for some time, and a set of behavioral expectations and rules to guide the relationship. Sounds complex doesn’t it and if you are in a bad relationship you will already see some problems with theses defining characteristics.

If the relationship has any chance of moving from a brief encounter, there has to be an attraction that lasts longer than one night. The problem, of course, is that for at least one member of this relationship, one partner, the attraction can wane and disappear and the glue holding the relationship together becomes ineffective. Mutuality is another problem because in some relationships all one sees is one ‘giver’ and one ‘taker’. I will talk about this in my next article. Intimacy is one of my favorite concepts when I counsel couples whose relationships are falling apart. There is a difference between what men think about intimacy and what women expect from an intimate relationship. This is one of my themes in an article on ‘the end of the relationship’.

I know this is a generalization but for many men to be intimate is somehow connected with sexual penetration. Technically, intimacy does refer to a sexual relationship but from a psychological point of view many women view the term intimacy as including not only a physical relationship but closeness, an emotional linking, shared understanding and commitment, and a special, private, caring connection. If a relationship is to have purpose, depth, mutual emotional satisfaction, and the likelihood of continuity, intimacy is a very potent and essential feature of a strong relationship.

In my clinical sessions and writings I encourage people to work hard to understand themselves – to build self-awareness. In one of my most popular articles, I explain the concept of emotional intelligence and in my books, I define this vitally important concept and I teach people how to measure their emotional intelligence. In my third article in this relationship series, I will explain one of the strategies I use in therapy when I encourage a patient to assess objectively and thoroughly whether the relationship is flickering, is revivable, or if it is flat out dead.

Emotional self-awareness is a critical component of successful social interactions. I really enjoy the research from the Harvard Business School which has demonstrated the strong positive correlation between successful leadership and emotional self-awareness. Leaders who understand themselves have greater capacity to influence and lead their teams producing what is called a successful double bottom line – good financial profits and strong increase in human capital. So, emotionally aware leaders make more money and produce better results in managing their people. Many relationships fail because one or both of the parties are not self-aware. This self insight allows people to understand who they are, what their strengths and weaknesses are, and their effect on other people. To have a successful relationship, you need to know what you are bringing to the relationship table and you need to have the personal strength and insight to understand how this impacts your partner and meets his or her needs.

I guess you have been involved in at least one failed relationship and when you look back you might be very embarrassed about what you said and what you did when the flame of love and attraction fizzled out to be replaced, sometimes, by the white heat of anger and bad temper. I talk about this in two more of my relationship series articles. And, just in case there is some life left in the fire, I will talk about improving communication and repairing relationships in the last article of this series.

All of these articles address the stress involved in building and fixing a relationship. They are also designed to inform you so that you can deal with relationship stress in a mature and effective way. Far too many people behave badly in relationships and this bad behavior often leads to lost friendship and a rejection of one’s personal history. Our lives are relatively short, in a cosmic sense, so we should learn how to get the best out of our romantic friendships so that we do not have to suffer endless (and perhaps repeated) relationship stress.

When a Relationship is Over

Five Tips for Knowing When a Relationship is Over

Whether to walk away from a relationship or whether to stay is one of the hardest decisions we face in life. When you’re in the middle of a passionate relationship with a lot of time and emotions invested, it’s hard to have perspective.

Walking away from a relationship, or admitting that a relationship is really over, is even harder when we’ve poured years of our time, energy, and love into it. Nevertheless, there are certain times when ending a relationship is inevitable.

Sometimes we have to end the relationship ourselves. At other times, our significant other may end the relationship. No matter who ends it, at some point we must face the truth: the relationship is over. There’s a right way and a wrong way to go about anything, and that’s never more true than when you’re breaking up.

But how do you know when a relationship is really over?

When should you tough it out and fight for your love? When should you tell yourself that you did your best, and now you have to let go?

No two relationships are ever quite the same, so regardless of what friends and family members may advise, you’re the only one who understands your relationship. Only you can decide what your course of action should be, because you have all the information.

That being said, there are certain signs in every relationship to look for that will tell you when your relationship is over.

1. Abuse of any kind is a deal-breaker.

If your significant other is abusing you – physically or verbally – then it’s time to end the relationship. It’s one thing if your significant other says a few harsh or hurtful words in the heat of the moment; it’s another thing if verbal intimidation, verbal threats or physical violence occur often.

Remember, this is a matter of respect. If your partner can’t show you enough respect to avoid hurting you, or if their idea of coping is to hurt their loved ones, no real partnership can exist with this person.

Often, abusive partners tell their significant others that no one else would want them. That’s a matter of control, not truth-telling. There’s always someone out there, but if they want you too frightened to leave, they’ll say anything to put fear in your heart: fear of loneliness or fear of retaliation.

The abused partner often feels in his or her heart they would never be able to get anyone better. Neither of these two statements is true: love should not include emotional or physical violence. There are people good enough to love you on terms of respect and nurturing, so you can always find someone better than an abuser.

A common pattern in abusive relationships goes something like this: there’s a fight, and one partner becomes aggressive to the point of violence (verbal or physical). The abused partner threatens to leave. The abuser then feels ashamed and remorseful, and promises that it will never happen again.

At that point, if the abuser doesn’t seek psychological treatment, the abused should leave – period. If the abused does not leave, the cycle is likely to start over again. The abusive partner must show they want to change, or else they fall into the same behavior patterns that has brought them to the point of abuse.

If you are the abuser, maybe it’s time to admit you have a problem and seek out help before you lose your significant other for good.

2. Are you trying to “save” your significant other?

Sometimes, even when a relationship is not explicitly abusive, there is nonetheless an unhealthy pattern of codependency.

What is codependency?

Codependency is when one significant other passively supports the bad behavior of the other. Psychology refers to the passive partner as an “enabler”, because they enable the negative patterns of their partner. For example, one partner may have a drinking problem, and their significant other constantly makes excuses for them, rather than confronting their partner or helping them seek help.

In codependent relationships, the enabler often feels that they can somehow “fix” or “save” their partner. The enabler always “cleans up” after the enabled, taking responsibility for or hiding their partner’s mistakes, rather than encouraging their partner to face their mistakes and change. You think you’re doing them a favor, but in fact, you’re helping to make their problem chronic.

Recognizing that your relationship is a codependent one does not necessarily mean that it’s time to end the relationship. Perhaps your partner needs to stop drinking, needs to stop taking advantage of you financially, or needs to end another type of bad behavior that you’ve tacitly allowed for some time. Before ending a codependent relationship, try getting your partner to take responsibility for his or her negative behavior (if you are the enabler).

This can be done with a serious heart-to-heart talk. This can be by suggesting counseling or rehab. This can be done with an intervention of all their concerned friends.

If you give your partner a chance to change and they don’t seek help or alter their behavior, then it’s time to admit the relationship is over. Remember that you can’t “save” your partner. You can support him or her, and you can encourage him or her to seek help.

In the end, you must allow them to take responsibility for their own life.

3. Are you or your partner emotionally unavailable?

What does the term “emotionally unavailable” mean? If your courtship with your partner started enthusiastically, with lots of love, romance, and potential, then fizzled as one of you became more and more withdrawn and self-isolating, you may be in a relationship in which one person is emotionally unavailable.

Realizing that your partner is emotionally unavailable may signal that it’s time to end your relationship. On the other hand, this recognition may signal that you need to work together as a couple to improve your relationship, or even that you need to work on how you relate to your partner.

People withdraw and isolate for many different reasons. Probably the most common reason is an experience of abuse in their past. Abuse – especially sexual abuse – makes it difficult for people to trust others again, and trouble with intimacy is a common issue.

Does this sound like you or your partner? If so, then if you know you still love each other, you should patiently work through the issue together.

It’s also common for one person to simply be more expressive of their affection than the other. Depending upon cultural heritage and personality, self-expression may simply come more naturally for one person. This is not necessarily a reason to end a relationship.

The differences in your personalities can be a strength, as opposites attract and you draw strength from each other, where you might not necessarily have natural strength yourself.

Remember, when a person is not emotionally expressive, all that expression of emotion coming from their partner can drive them to withdraw even further. The responsibility falls on both individuals to work through these differences, with patience and acceptance for the other person. It’s time to end the relationship, only if both parties have made an honest attempt to work through their emotional differences and things still aren’t working.

4. Have you fallen out of love?

Some people decide a relationship is over, because they have fallen out of love. Falling out of love is a legitimate reason to end a relationship – if that’s what’s really happened. But falling out of love is not the same as getting bored with your partner or having a midlife crisis.

Be careful to differentiate between growing bored with your relationship and falling out of love. If you end a relationship just because you’re bored with it, the chances are that you’ll get bored with the next person, and the next, and the next.

Boredom within a relationship is often a sign that we’re placing too high an expectation on our partner – expecting him or her to make us feel satisfied and fulfilled in our life. Our personal satisfaction is not the responsibility of our partner, and just because we feel dissatisfied with our life, doesn’t necessarily mean we should blame our partner for it.

If you are unfulfilled, it’s probably become you aren’t happy with yourself in some way. If you’re bored, look inside – not outside – for the answer.

If your partner leaves because he or she says they have fallen out of love with you, the last thing you should do is plead for them to come back. No one likes desperation; no one likes neediness. Instead, give them space and a chance to think carefully about their decision.

5. No matter what happens, try to relax and accept.

When our partner is unfaithful, abusive, or consistently emotionally unavailable, it’s time to end the relationship. When our partner tells us they’ve fallen out of love with us, that they’re leaving us for someone else, or that they can’t be with us, because we’re too emotionally unavailable, it’s also (usually) time to end the relationship.

Maybe your relationship is over for good. Maybe you and your partner just need some space and some time to figure things out. No matter what happens during this break-up process, try to relax.

Try to accept what’s happening, instead of wishing for it to be some other way. The more we cling to a broken relationship, the more pain is in store for us. Sometimes, just letting go is the best way to move on with our lives.

Contrary to what you might be feeling right now, the heartbreak that comes at the end of a relationship does fade. Although you feel like you can’t live without them, you can. Although you feel like there are no other fish in the sea, there are.

Take heart in knowing that many others have been in your spot, and most of them found true love and fulfillment in someone else’s arms. You’ll see one day.

© 2020 Relationships

Theme by Anders NorénUp ↑